Late night thoughts.

“But then again, maybe bad things happen because it’s the only way we can keep remembering how good is supposed to look like.” -Jodi Picoult

Although I’m 16, I managed to lose a lot in just one year. as a teenager, losing your best friends, moving schools, twice, realizing that maybe your “Friends” aren’t really who you thought they were, and changing country’s, is like buying a ticket to hell yourself.

but maybe that’s just an end for a new beginning to start? I mean they always tell me that i’m still too young to know what pain feels like. that i still haven’t experienced life as it is. And they’re probably right. there is this big world out there still waiting for me to go to it, waiting to be known, to be attacked. before 2013 i would have told you that life without friends is unbearable, that it must be hard being alone that i would never want to experience it. but 2014 changed me. as a teenager of course.(I’m still too young to be giving you this revolution talk about coming out of age and stuff)

2014 showed me that the definition of friends in this generation does not always mean being there for each other, and standing up for one another, and all the other mambo jumbo that we hear in the movies. the definition of friends in this generation for some of the teenagers out there means using one another, wanting them to be there for us but never returning the favor. and i’m not saying all of them are like that, but mostly are. sometimes even including myself…

the first thing i learned it 2014 is that there is no age limit to giving advice, even if you lose the smallest thing, it is okay to get hurt by it. so the simple advice’s that i want to give is:

have friends. or be alone if it makes you more comfortable. get out. or stay at home and do something you love. jump around n your room. dance like a maniac. learn, but live like there is no tomorrow. run and scream like your finally free. say hi to strangers, but make sure they’re not a serial killers. smile. help people if you can. be kind. be selfish. run away from people that don’t make you feel good. even if they call you an UN-loyal bitch. I’ve been called that before. put yourself first. its okay. focus on school, rumors wont be with you your whole life, and that friendship that makes you feel bad will not be forever. love. laugh. cry. know that it’s okay not to be okay. be a super hero. live like you just found yourself. live like you cant wait to run and catch the world. live like it’s your last day on earth. live like you’ll live forever. most importantly, live. live. live. 

i will try to follow each step of this for the rest of my life. hope you do too.

6 thoughts on “Late night thoughts.”

  2. I tried to respond to an earlier post of yours but it was rejected. You are slightly older than I but I feel so similar to you that I want to respond.

    I am an introrvert, but not shy. I like to hear how people truly feel, not about bands or movies but about existence itself. I do not enjoy small talk. Years ago, i was taught to keep my feelings to myself because it creeps people out, but I have learned to ignore that. I don’t care anymore I say things that make people feel uncomfortable but those are my feelings and that’s what I say.

    I live in three countries. I am a citizen of only two of them. I have been homeschooled over my entire life, so of course I have no friends of my own age nor have I had the “american teenager” experience that I see on YouTube. I suspect that you may also be a compatriot of mine (are you Malti?). To make things worse, I have no talents whatsoever but excel at scholastics and expect to complete my university pre-requirements this summer.

    Everything I read in your blog entries hits me like I have written it myself. I know that we enjoy our alone time. I certainly do. But it’s nice to know that we aren’t alone. I hope that I haven’t embarrassed you with this post. I hope that I can delete it if you ask.

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  3. I am so sorry i never received any comment other than this one- or haven’t checked yet-. Thank you so so much for this comment. I love to know that there are actual people who read my posts relate to it so much. ( honestly I thought I was writing for myself cause no one reads my blog). But Thank you for proving to me that we are not alone! :). And no, I’m actually Arab. And FYI just because you haven’t found your passion yet does not mean that you have no talents, for what I can see, the way you write is amazing! You made my day with this comment, thank you!

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  5. “Since so many black immigrants have come to this country in recent history, do we now call them “African Americans” even if they don’t come from Africa?”If they’re recent immigrants, they’re not Americans.And I do know of people of Jamaican ancestry who refer to themselves as Jarcaain-Amemicans, Caribbean-Americans or Jamericans.

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